Archive for the ‘Talents’ Category

Super Talents

May 23, 2009

I have recently given this a lot of thought.  

Definition:  Super talent: pronounced as it sounds- (n.)- to posses a talent that is beyond ordinary, somewhat useful, and achievable through practice and sound mind.  Not to be confused with “super powers“, as super powers do not really exist and humans may find themselves incapable of achieving said goals.  Also, a super talent is not a trick… because tricks are for either kids or hookers, neither of which I am.  def. courtesy Whitney Whitworth™.
With that being stated, I give you a list of super talents that I wish I possessed.   Behold:
1.) Sliding across the hood of a car prior to entry on the drivers side.  Both neat-o and a time saver!  
So I tried to find a good video of this being attempted, but mostly I just found supposedly hilarious videos of people failing miserably, rap videos when I searched “hood slide”, and some British kids making asses out of themselves.  This video is the best I could find.
2.) Being able to whistle really loudly by using my finger and thumb.  Also, if I could whistle melodically (think Paul Simon, Devotchka, or the 7 dwarves.), that would be acceptable.
UPDATE: I practiced whistling today with two fingers and am on my way to mastering it.  Right now I feel guilty for practicing in my room at 2:30 am whilst my roommates sleep.
3.) Extraordinary balance.  I would like nothing less than to have the balance abilities of a circus performer.  
4.) Be able to pull a table cloth from underneath the place settings and prepared food that lay on top of it.  This is a true classic, however, some people chose to forget about said party trick.  Might I say, I like this link a lot because it is done with an accent.  Every instructional video should be as such.  Crockery, crockery, crockery.
5.) Be able to parallel park in one smooth movement.  Though I am decent right now at parallel parking, I think there can always be some improvement.  I suppose this talent would be unnecessary should I chose to vanquish my car, which is a possibility.  It would also help if I had a mini…  
6.) Have the ability to open bottles with my teeth.  One of my friends can do this and I am insanely jealous because of this. 
7.) Equal ambidexterity in all endeavors.