Business Ventures

Somedays I think to myself, “Whitney,” (this is all internal dialog, of course) “what are you going to do today, or the rest of your life for that matter?”, and for the most part, I don’t actually ever intend to answer this question.  BUT, somedays I do answer that particular question, and on occasion, when the mood strikes, I Pinky and the Brain that shit- as in come up with hair-brained ideas that would never actually work.  

So what, pray tell, how is this relevant to the title of this blog?  Well… I don’t really know.  I got distracted and lost my train of thought.  I’mma be moseyin’ on through this post then, I reckon.  Let’s get to it:  Businesses I would like to open:
1.) Drive Through Divorce Court: In Vegas.  Right next door to some sort of drive through chapel.  I think I would call it “I Don’t” or “Un-Do”.  The above text is pretty much self explanatory.
2.) Sensitive Subject Greeting Cards: This idea came to me when my younger brother first went to juvie.  I made him a card that looked like a four year old drew it with a marker on brightly colored construction paper.  On the outside there was a sunshine, happy and smiling and on the inside, that sunshine was locked behind bars.  The text read “It’s sunny out here… too bad you’re doing time”.  There may be some cards that exist like this already, but I think it was the element of poorly drawn stick figures/objects that really pushed these cards to extreme levels.  Other cards that would be sold: Topics of teen pregnancy, “This is your new home” cards for when you put ma and pa in “special” housing due to old age, and so on.   You would probably find this store in a mall.
3.) Missing Pieces: This store would be dedicated to selling game pieces, pawns, cards, dice, and just about any game accouterments you could loose.  It wouldn’t even sell the games, just the extra pieces.  Examples: Sorry™ pawns, Settler’s of Catan™ roads, Clue™ cards, Scategories™ answer sheets, and so on.  Again, this store would be, more than likely, in a mall… but maybe online too.
4.) Speed Sitters: So, this would be a business venture, not a store, that would run on similar principles as speed dating, however, instead of matching up daters, it would match up parents and vermin.. I mean, children, with baby sitters.  
5.) And lastly, (and I am pretty sure Kleenex™ stole this idea from me and used it in one of their snot nosed commercials), The Conversation Booth: Kind of like confession, only no Hail Mary’s.  This business would be best suited in airports- as it is there that I find people who are in all sorts of states of disarray as well as glee.  It would just be a booth where you pay per 15 minute intravals to just talk to someone who NEVER says anything back to you, as they are not therapists, but would probably have to have some sort of psychology degree.  

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